Ruby s FAVORITES from The GDML

Subject: Detecting a poisonous frog
Original Sender: (Kathy Cunningham)

Just think you should be aware. The most that might happen if one of the dogs grabs one and plays with it would probably be excess salivation and maybe vomiting. 
Betty

Yum, yum! Now there's a tasty treat to look forward to! How do you know
which species your dog is messing with?
Louise

Simple.
You pick it up and lick it. If it tastes like chicken, it's O.K.
If you start slobbering and blowing chunks, it's poisonous.
If your teeth start chattering, you know that a bitch sat on it recently.
Kathy and the Harlettes


                           

"Dogwatching" by Desmond Morris states that …..  
a barking dog means "I'd like to bite you, but I think I'll call up reinforcements!" 
and a growling dog is even more dangerous, 
but a perfectly silent dog is the one that is going to nail you!

 

I think a lot of the barking/growling is just talk. If they had better lips they could just tell us what they want.---Julie F. and the black kids

 

Doug /Kennel Staff / Home Vet (Anal Glands & Tonsils) / Medical Student / Great Dane Toy / Great Dane Home Page Maintainer / Lurker

 

In our house/day and bed/nite are 354 dog pounds, 21 cat pounds, and 330 human pounds...that's 705 pounds! ...50.2% canine, 46.8% human and 3.0% feline. 
We need a bigger bed !!!!! 
Just had to show off my analytical skills...pardon me.…..MOUSE
 

The Great Dane is a man's dog;
he is big, fast, powerful and courageous.
The Great Dane is a woman's dog
he is gentle, affectionate, and protective.
The Great Dane is a child's dog
with his inborn patience and understanding.

 

I get the saddle remark also - and have grown tired enough of it to tell people, yes,
she does have one, please keep your legs closed, or she'll think you want a ride.
 

I didn't think of dressing up the dogs so that when we open the door
to trick-or-treaters they will be greeted by a *real* pack of gobblins!!
What a great idea!!!     Victoria
 

The icecube Dane is my old lady of the house "Babe" alias Hoover lips. She figured out very quickly who to push the bottom on the refrigerator door, and was helping herself. Unfortunately she was also enjoying watching them fall on the floor and we ended up disconnecting the dispenser and all of us, including her have to get them again the old fashion way. She is very smart and learns just by watching. :) Monika

 

All angels don't have wings, some have tails.

Soda did some scratching and ended up with a swollen, raw spot in his armpit. Gever took him to work to keep on eye on him (and avoid a trip home mid-day), but first I put some antibiotic ointment on the area to help it heal (since we didn't think he could reach it to take care of himself). Here's the note I had waiting for me by the time I arrived to work:

Subject: How to lick your armpit (a step by step guide for dogs)

Have you ever had goopy medicine in some place that you just couldn't reach? Well, you don't have to be frustrated anymore. That's right! With my simple three step program you can lick your own armpit. You don't have to have opposable thumbs or a really big cranium. You can do it practically anywhere, and the best part of it is that once you master this simple technique you can use it to reach other seemingly inaccessible areas of your body as well.

How To Lick Your Own Armpit In Three Easy Steps

1. While standing next to a wall, lean down and turn your head under until the top of your head is pressed into the corner.

2. Step forward keeping your head upside-down and rolling your neck into the corner.

3. Once your neck is almost completely in the corner and your shoulders are almost down to the ground, lift your head up off of the floor and you will find that your outside armpit is right in front of your nose.

For a complete list of "Step by Step Guides" for dogs, cats, salamanders, and people, send $17.00 by check or money order to:

Step by Step Guides
Box 60091
Darn Tootin, MO  40932
 

While at the pet store the other day I spied a mouse trap with a red flapper on it that is supposed to smack the offender in the face when HE gets in the sock drawer. Yesterday I see Da Humph sitting quietly in the room with the damn thing hanging from his lip and he doesn't give a shit. It is just hanging there. I pulled it off and he thought it was a game??????? With endless patience, I remain,      alanjesq
  

Get thee to the Great Dane Home page and read all the stuff on feeding. GREAT DANE PUPPIES SHOULD NOT!!!! billBE FED PUPPY FOOD!!! Keep protein under 24%, do not free feed, do not add supplements such as calcium, phosphorous, or D, do not add cottage cheese, yogurt or any other food in amounts over 15% of the dry food volume. Keep the puppy lean. You want to SLOW the growth, not push it. Many Dane diseases occur during the fast growth stages. Slowing the growth rate, while using a HIGH QUALITY food helps prevent this.    Jill
  

CELEBRITIES OWNED BY DANES

Fabio , Eddie DeBartola , Charles Smith , Mario Andretti, Burt Ward, Burt Reynolds, Greg Louganis, Micheal Douglas, Chubby Checkers, William Shatner, Steven Speilberg, Kim Novak, James Brolin, Jim Carey, The Kennedys, Brad Anderson, Richard Azevino, Roger Carras, Leslie Uggams, Barbara Woodhouse, Geena Davis, The Red Baron, and Bree Ricciardi aka Ruby

>Tell me how to use tampons on a bitch in heat! >

     Betty first tried it years ago. We've had mixed luck, as a couple have been very intolerant. Others get so hung up on licking to keep clean [even 'though the tampon keeps them clean] that the inadvertently pull it out in their enthusiasm.
     My recollection is our best success has been with Playtex tampons on a stick. They're hard to find, and Betty's had to special order them from the drug store.
     Most bitches in their first season, and even adults in the first week to 10 days, are too tight & too dry to use without some help. We use a tube of Vaseline, and put a little on the top of the tampon. The Playtex are kind of 'bullet" shaped. What works best for me is to gently open the vulva from the lower lip, to straighten the path; gently push & twist. When it's in far enough, it will slip into place, and the stick used for insertion will easily come out.
     It's best to start this when you have plenty of time to observe the bitch after her first try. That way you can reassure her, and keep her from excessive licking and trying to take it out.
That's the "Guy" version. Perhaps further or other instructions to come from the expert tomorrow!

Bill Lewis 
p.s.  While you're all ROFL, our son was helping to take care of the girls in
season as a pre-teenager! It's not exclusively a "girl" thing!

Ruby, where are the wise cracks??? We need some of your humor here!

Ruby is MUM, due to the fact that Bill seems to have all the cracks covered ! ! !
  

Subject: GD: First Heat

Star started her first heat finally. So hopefully this will clear up her juvenile vaginitis. How soon can I get her fixed? Do I have to wait until the heat is over? How long will that take? I will also be calling the vet for info, but wanted your opinions also. Now I wish I had a leather couch. She started during the night while sleeping on my oatmeal colored couch. She managed to get all three cushions spotted. Oh well, wanted to replace that couch soon anyway.

(ONE MESSAGE MISSING HERE.......USE IMAGINATION)

Dear Star,
I know you must have been out of the room when your Mom sent this one. I can't believe that you wouldn't have suggested she run the "sarcasm check" feature of her mail program before posting this! 
John

John,
I will let Mom know how rude she was when she gets done struggling with my pads (I keep ripping them out. It keeps her busy running around picking up after me.) Perhaps she has been under a little stress from dealing with me. I'm sure she never meant to offend anyone. I'll talk to her.
Star

Star...you weren't supposed to make her feel bad! Now, if you can't point it out more gently, I'll have to find another way if it happens again. :) BTW, MacDuff's concerned about your pads. Are they doing better?
John R. Swain


MacDuff !!!! I am ROLF and LOL and trying not to disturb my computing neighbors.
Star's pads aren't on her feet!
Victoria & Sky  ("Sheesh... don't guy dogs know anything!")

Hey MacDuff, Did you ever explain it to John? Star's pads are fine now. In fact They are all gone. Yippeeeee!!!
Teresa & Star              

My husband put the recycling bin out on the deck to take down to the road and Miss Velvet (aka Miss Nosey) stuck her head in and checked out all the goodies. Well, the most appealing was a flattened half gallon milk carton which she plucked from the bin and raced around the deck flinging it into the air. When it landed, she would leap in the air and land on it, grab it and go again. Then she discovered that if she put her one big front foot on it, it would slide across the deck. She looked just like an ice skater (and I must say with a much better figure than that Tanya Harding!!) I wish I had a video of it, but alas I have no camcorder! Maybe for Christmas...I certainly have been hinting a lot! 
...... Cathy
  

Go hug your Dane. You are the most important thing in their life, no matter
what color either one of you happens to be…….Wendy

Behavior which is reinforced will be repeated
Behavior which is ignored will be extinguished! 
.....  Sharyl Mayhew

We could send all of our documents to Alan, and he could CORRECTOL them for us.